EREC: erotic romance
Saturday, October 20, 2007
The LoveBunny is In--veinglory
"Dear LoveBunny,
Why is it that erotic romance writers always insist the story and relationship and characters are the important things, but promo almost nothing but sex?"
Whenever a person wants to start an erotic romance epublisher they make a pilgrimage to a distant and mysterious cave. They find within a cabal of witch-alchemists who present them with a series of tests and trials. If they are found worthy they are given the blessing of the cabal, along with a magical cauldron.
Now everyone knows that writers are artists driven by muses with only the purest cultural motivations, whereas reader are degenerates who are always either having sex, thinking about sex, watching sex or reading about sex. The new initiate has an answer to this apparent conundrum.
When a work of literature is placed in their new cauldron it is instantly transformed into a work of pornography and a pile of money. If the work has little artistic merit it becomes a some light slap-and-tickle and a fiver. If it is a work of pure majestic artistic genius is become an extended kink-fest complete with three-dicked alien pervatrons and a very large pile of money that smells strongly of sulfur and latex.
Whenever an author notices that the manuscript they submitted seemed to bear little relation to the book being marketed the witch-editor uses the money to pay them off, and so the great conspiracy is preserved.
So speaketh the LoveBunny.
"Dear LoveBunny,Why is it that erotic romance writers always insist the story and relationship and characters are the important things, but promo almost nothing but sex?"
Whenever a person wants to start an erotic romance epublisher they make a pilgrimage to a distant and mysterious cave. They find within a cabal of witch-alchemists who present them with a series of tests and trials. If they are found worthy they are given the blessing of the cabal, along with a magical cauldron.
Now everyone knows that writers are artists driven by muses with only the purest cultural motivations, whereas reader are degenerates who are always either having sex, thinking about sex, watching sex or reading about sex. The new initiate has an answer to this apparent conundrum.
When a work of literature is placed in their new cauldron it is instantly transformed into a work of pornography and a pile of money. If the work has little artistic merit it becomes a some light slap-and-tickle and a fiver. If it is a work of pure majestic artistic genius is become an extended kink-fest complete with three-dicked alien pervatrons and a very large pile of money that smells strongly of sulfur and latex.
Whenever an author notices that the manuscript they submitted seemed to bear little relation to the book being marketed the witch-editor uses the money to pay them off, and so the great conspiracy is preserved.
So speaketh the LoveBunny.
Labels: LoveBunny
¶ posted at 5:57 PM by Emily Veinglory 3 Comments
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Ask the LoveBunny--veinglory
Do you have any questions about erotic romance epublishing, but were afraid to ask? Send you questions to ERECmail at gmail.com marked 'Attention: the LoveBunny' or by comment (anonymous if you prefer).
Whether your questions are serious, sarcastic or just plain crazy the LoveBunny promises to have an answer. The correct answer? Well, we make no promises about that.
Do you have any questions about erotic romance epublishing, but were afraid to ask? Send you questions to ERECmail at gmail.com marked 'Attention: the LoveBunny' or by comment (anonymous if you prefer).
Whether your questions are serious, sarcastic or just plain crazy the LoveBunny promises to have an answer. The correct answer? Well, we make no promises about that.
Labels: LoveBunny
¶ posted at 7:23 PM by Emily Veinglory 3 Comments